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Acedia

Stilaan sluipt die weer in mijn dagelijks bestaan. Het enthousiasme is er opnieuw uit. Alle overtuigingen ten spijt, verglij ik weer in dezelfde fout. Daar getuigt zeker mijn dagboek van. Geen oranje balkje meer te zien in het overzicht van de laatste 2 dagen. Het leven lijkt mij ook zoveel gemakkelijker op die manier. Vandaag voelt het echter ONgemakkelijk aan. Vooral nu ik vriendinnen lees die met stappentellers goochelen. Zou ik er een zoeken ? Of luister ik naar dat stemmetje dat me zegt dat ik redenen probeer te vinden om die hometrainer te laten voor wat hij is ? Als het cijfer op zo’n hebbeding hoog is, hoef ik toch niet meer op die pedalen te trappen. In mijn brein woedt er een harde strijd. Dié heeft duidelijk geen last van die Acedia of schrijf ik voor alle duidelijkheid : gemakzucht - luiheid - vadsigheid. De 7de hoofdzonde. Ik moet hier en daar met de auto naartoe vandaag dus kan ik er niet meteen iets aan doen. Ik neem me voor me toch te herpakken. MOET lukken !

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